10 Items, One Month, So Far
Since starting this series, I’ve had strange dreams, more like nightmares really, about shopping. In one dream I found myself in a small boutique filled with cute dresses. But then, the racks were so crammed with clothes it was impossible to pull them off and look at them, and the racks got closer and closer together, until they almost smothered me.
In another dream, I searched up and down the endless aisles of Walmart looking for Christmas presents for my sisters. I wanted a particular type of bodywash scented like different flavors of candy and soda. All I could find were pixi stix and root beer flavored. But then, I couldn’t find any prices. I looked on the bottles and on the shelves, and then I realized that nothing in the store had prices posted. I started feeling panicky, not sure if I could afford to get them or not. To increase my anxiety, the store swarmed with people. I noticed that many of the people had already gone through the checkout line, but weren’t leaving. Why aren’t they leaving? I asked a man nearby. “They’re afraid to leave,” he said.
I’m not into dream interpretation, but I could draw some analogies from those nightmares. How often do I shop out of fear? I fill my house with stuff to make me feel secure. Sometimes we shop just to lift our mood, or to ease our pain and take our mind off a problem that needs to be dealt with. We’re afraid, afraid of losing status, or afraid of dealing with painful emotions, so we shop. It’s a bandaid, just like emotional eating, which covers the pain for a moment but when the pounds pile on, the sadness only increases. Ultimately, all the stuff we look to for security ends up smothering us.
Aside from the nightmares, this month is going well, but not how I expected. Some things are harder than I thought they would be, and other things are much easier. For example, telling people what I’m doing is much harder than I expected. When I try to explain why I’m wearing ten items, I feel like my brain freezes up and my mouth just keeps babbling on. I get all self-conscious and stutter-y. Luckily for me, my friend Tara is more than happy to tell everyone who will listen all about why I’m wearing ten items, and she does an awesome job! I’m very thankful for all of you who have shared, liked, and commented on this series. You have no idea how encouraging it is!
Last week I had moments that I forgot about only wearing ten things. When I’d get dressed in the morning, I’d reach for a different tank to go under my tee, and then remember. Once, though, I didn’t remember in time. Without even thinking, I laced up my tennis shoes and went to work out with Brian. I didn’t realize my mistake until hours later! Epic fail.
Just to clarify the rules, originally I wasn’t going to wear accessories or scarves, but in Brian’s words, I realized I’m a girl. So I am wearing my Noonday bracelet, and my FashionABLE scarf is one of my ten items. I could have counted all shoes as one item, but I know I have a big problem with shoes. I can’t resist them, and I have way more than I need. So, I really want to work on that area this month by limiting myself to my Toms.
The 10th Item
The results are in! The tenth item you chose for me to wear, is…