Our One Month Anniversary

Today is our one month anniversary! It feels like one week since I walked the aisle, but it’s been one week that Brian and I have lived in our apartment! We are still adjusting; adjusting to the heat, to the early morning job schedule, to the commute to the said job, to making an apartment a home, to being alone in the said apartment most of the day, and to being married, and mainly, figuring out how to sleep comfortably in the same bed. (A double bed. It’s smaller than it sounds.)

The Heat
Dry heat or not, it’s hot. Lucky for me, I haven’t really had to adjust to the heat, because I can hide in air conditioning most of the day. Brian has no choice, because for the two months he while he works in the maintenance shop, he’s practically outdoors.

The Mornings
Brian’s early morning start to work hasn’t been too hard on me either; I’ve been able to sleep through the alarm at 4:30 a.m., Brian getting ready, eating breakfast, and only waking up for the goodbye kiss. Until today, at least. At Brian’s urging, I’m trying to get up at the same time, so that we can be on the same sleep schedule. Laying awake at night isn’t fun, so I’m trying to get on board, but 4:30 comes around fast!

The Commute
We were happy to find that commuting is shorter than we thought it would be, mainly as a result of the early morning, and afternoons getting home haven’t been bad. Except for the day there were two accidents: a nine car pile up followed by one with six cars…scary! Both accidents were ahead of Brian, and he was fine.

The Housewifery
I’m figuring out this home-maker thing. Brian’s oldest sister was here for the worst part of the unpacking,-those initial stages of circular confusion, the can’t-unpack-the-ten-boxes-of-books-until-the-shelf-is-put-together-and-you-can’t-put-the-shelf-together-until-it’s-in-the-right-room-and-you-can’t-put-it-in-the-right-room-until-your-husband-gets-home-because-it’s-heavy stage. It’s very livable now! There’s pictures in this album  as well as many more pictures from our trip. It looks a little different today, since I hung a few pictures on the walls and did more unpacking yesterday with Brian. I am so thankful that Andrea was able to come last week – she kept me company while Brian was gone and provided transportation to get things we needed: basic groceries and my hair cut 🙂 Getting my hair cut was definitely a need, in this case, because it has been in the 106-118 degree neighborhood all week. We also had fun swimming and tanning and going to Barnes and Noble. And, she showed us how to program the coffee maker so that it starts on it’s own, which is invaluable. 

I’m doing well so far with cooking, which is one of the things included in my moving resolutions. Our first dinner in our apartment took place Thursday night, and it consisted of spaghetti (one of the few things I can make without a recipe) lettuce salad, and apple sauce. Friday night we had tacos, and Saturday….we bought Little Cesar’s Pizza. Hey, it was Saturday! I made barbecue chicken for Sunday dinner, and if I must say so myself, it was delicious, and I totally made it up as I went along.

I’ve only been home by myself for two days, and I’m already getting lonely! I called home and my older sister Friday, and I found a Christian radio station and blasted it until Brian got home Saturday while I did my Saturday cleaning. I’m not too worried about making friends, I know it will take time, and probably won’t happen until I get involved at school or in small group at church. At least, I’ve been far from bored. I get up, read a text from Brian, text him back, eat breakfast, read my Bible, get dressed etc, call someone from Iowa, work on my online classes, make lunch, text Brian, email people from Iowa, unpack, text Brian, facebook people from Iowa, unpack, answer Brian’s phone call, do laundry, and greet Brian at the door. That may or may not be a slight exaggeration.

The Married Life
There’s a few things I’ve learned so far, in my short married life.

  • One is to have most of the stuff I want to do done for the day before Brian gets home, and save what’s left for tomorrow. That way I can focus on making him comfortable and relaxed after a long day in the heat, and making coming home a highlight for both of us.
  • Two, I’ve also learned that my priorities aren’t his priorities, and if I push my priorities, I’m nagging. Brian offered to take care of the lunch dishes yesterday, and it drove me crazy. Not because I enjoy doing dishes, to the contrary. But after lunch he worked on the internet, was on facebook for awhile, caught up on emails, and unpacked the book boxes in the spare bedroom, all while the dishes were still sitting on the table and counters. Every time I walked by, it took effort to not say something, or just do it myself. Why? Because I knew that Brian probably hadn’t forgotten, at least not entirely, but from his perspective, fixing the internet and taking care of those boxes was more urgent. If I had mentioned, he would have felt I was nagging him, and if I’d done it myself, he’d be offended that I didn’t think he was capable of doing it himself. At least, that’s what I imagine he was thinking. And in the end, he did do the dishes, and they were none the worse for not being done right after lunch.
  • Three, I’ve discovered that sleeping in the same bed takes skill. We’d been so spoiled with king and queen beds all during our honeymoon and the week we stayed at Brian’s parents’ that the double bed felt pretty small. But, I’m not opposed to cuddling, and neither is Brian. Unfortunately…. he snores.

But laying awake at night, with Brian almost sleeping on my face, making me uncomfortably hot and sticky, and barely able to hear my thoughts over the grizzly growling-mountain slide sounds, I watch him sleep, and the realization washes over me that I’m so very lucky to have such a wonderful man; a man who works hard to provide for me, is thoughtful and affectionate, fun, and wise. And every once in a while, he wakes up, and kisses me before rolling over and going back to sleep.

Yep, we’re still adjusting. It’s been a crazy month, with lots of changes, but I’ve loved every minute of the adventure. The best is yet to come!

Emily Conley

  • A DOUBLE bed! We could barely manage in a QUEEN when we were first married! I suppose that is the whole "spoiled American" aspect of my life…I do like my space at night. No family beds here! 😀 You are brave…that's all I can say. Of course…Paul is not much of a cuddler (and he snores too! :-D).

    I loved this post. So sweet!

  • Hehe, my in-laws slept on the FLOOR when they were first married, no air mattress or anything! A friend of mine and her husband slept on a TWIN when they were first married! She said they learned how to roll over at the same time 🙂

  • Hi! found your blog over at (in) courage through the introduce yourself section. This post about your cooking made me smile because I think I'll be the same way once I get married. 🙂 Hey, speghetti, applesauce and salad is good! 🙂 Nice to see a christian blogger close to my age. 🙂 Blessings to you.